RE: Congratulations

Mr. President,

May I be among the first to congradulate you on being the leader of our new form of government. Since the existing constitution of the United States was written so long ago, apparently is full of flaws and archaic ideas about liberty, I am certain that you, together with your administration of loyal, patriotic public servants will issue forth a new set of principles and laws which will correct the many ills the founding fathers, in their ignorance failed to provide for.

May I urge you first to consider having all the guns removed because many people who are angered over these changes may wish to do violence to others. Then it will be necessary to detain for an indefinite period of time all the homosexuals, journalists, artists, and political adversaries because they will continue to be angered and obstruct the progress of your new form of government. Once you have secured the nation, those who remain will be loyal citizens who fear God and the Government. Under this new reign of terror, all others who terrorize the American will, which of course is your will, will be easily identified, aprehended and eliminated.

Congradultions for getting rid of all the red tape, and stubborn blockages which have stood in the way of true liberty for you, your administration and the republican party, and especially those corporate interests of the wealthy patriotic few upon which this nation was truly founded.

Finally, I have this question: what was it you chose to be called, and from here on, how do you wish to be addressed?

Respectfully,

JTW